By: Tom Chenault, from his upcoming book Love Like Crazy… Then Love More

The Hard Science Behind Soft Skills

So… what does love have to do with the business of business?

I’ll give you a gold star for having the right answer to that question. But just in case you didn’t. Have the answer. Here it is… Everything.

Twenty-three years ago, Tim Sanders rocked the business world with his book Love Is the Killer App. He was right then. He’s even more right now. But here’s what’s changed:

We now have the neuroscience to prove it.

The Brain Science of Business Success

Here’s something that’ll blow your mind: When scientists hook people up to brain scanners and show them pictures of someone they love— their spouse, their kids, their dog— the same neural pathways light up as when they’re using cocaine.

Love literally hijacks the same reward system as addictive drugs. The difference? Love makes you better. Cocaine… well, you know how that story ends.

Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers found that when you’re in love, your brain floods with dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. It’s like your brain’s throwing a party and everyone’s invited. But here’s the kicker— it’s not just romantic love. The same thing happens when you show genuine caring, compassion, and empathy for anyone. A customer. A colleague. Even a competitor.

Love Is Medicine— Literally

UCLA did a study that followed people for seven years. The ones who had strong, loving relationships? They lived longer. Significantly longer. Their immune systems were stronger. Their stress hormones— cortisol and epinephrine— were lower. Their hearts were healthier.

Love isn’t just nice to have. It’s a biological necessity.

And here’s what really gets me: The people giving the love in these studies got the same benefits as the people receiving it. Maybe more. When you love someone else, your body releases oxytocin— the “love hormone”— and it literally heals you from the inside out.

The Neuroscience of Remembering

Here’s something that might change how you think about customer service: When you remember something important about someone— their kid’s name, their anniversary, their concern about their quarterly numbers— their brain releases the same chemicals as when they fall in love.

Seriously. Dr. Antonio Damasio at USC found that when people feel truly seen, heard, and remembered, their brains light up like a Christmas tree. They get a hit of dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin all at once.

No wonder people become loyal to you when you remember them. You’re literally giving their brain a drug-like experience every time you interact with them.

This isn’t manipulation. This is understanding how humans are wired. We’re designed to connect. We’re built to love and be loved. When you work with that design instead of against it, you’re not being fake— you’re being strategic.

Love Built Everything That Matters

Every business that’s ever mattered started with love. Henry Ford loved the idea of every family having a car. Walt Disney loved bringing joy to children. Bill Gates loved the idea of a personal computer in every home. James Dyson spent 15 years creating 5,126 failed prototypes because he loved engineering perfection more than he hated failure. The businesses that last? They’re built on love. The ones that die? They forgot why they started.

The Restaurant Revolution

I learned this the hard way. I was running a restaurant— 103 employees, 75,000 customers a month. It was chaos. Then I figured out something that changed everything: When I made everyone feel important— when I started loving them— magic happened.

Orders got filled faster. Complaints went down. Tips went up. People started referring to their friends.

But it goes deeper than operational efficiency. Love is creative. When you love people, you start seeing solutions instead of problems. Instead of “This customer is being difficult,” you think “This person is having a bad day—how can I help?” Instead of “This employee keeps messing up,” you think “This person needs training and encouragement.” Love changes your perspective. And when your perspective changes, everything changes.

The 2025 Love Advantage

In 2025, love isn’t just nice— it’s necessary. We’re more disconnected than ever. People are starving for genuine human connection. The company that figures out how to systematically love their customers, employees, and partners? They win.

Here’s what most leaders miss:

Love isn’t a feeling. It’s a verb. It’s something you do. An action you take. A system you implement.

The Three Pillars of Love-Based Leadership

1. Remember to Remember

Create systems to capture and recall personal details about everyone you interact with. Not just their title and company, but their kids’ soccer schedule, their concerns about the quarterly report, and their excitement about their upcoming vacation. When you remember, you’re literally creating a chemical bond.

2. Make Everyone Feel Important

Not special. Important. There’s a difference. Special is rare. Important is essential. When someone feels important in your presence, they associate that feeling with you and your company forever.

3. Love Like Crazy… Then Love More 

Start with radical caring. Then double down. Triple down. The more love you give, the more you get. It’s not just fair. It’s physics. It’s biology. It’s the way life works.

The Bottom of the Bottom Line

Tim Sanders was right: Love is the killer app. But in 2025, it’s not just a competitive advantage— it’s survival. The companies that learn to love systematically and authentically will thrive. The ones that don’t will become irrelevant.

The question isn’t whether love works in business. The question is: Are you going to work it?

Because once you understand that love is the secret to everything— and I mean everything— then loving like crazy isn’t just a nice idea. It’s the most practical, effective, scientifically-backed strategy for success you’ll ever find.

Trust me. I’ve got 37 years of sobriety, a transformed life, and countless successful love-centered business relationships to prove it.

Tom Chenault is the author of the forthcoming book “Love Like Crazy… Then Love More” and has spent decades building successful businesses through love-based leadership principles.

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Disclaimer: Testimonials in this article reflect personal experiences and aren’t guaranteed. Results vary based on effort, experience, and commitment. Use your judgment.