Author: Irina Naidina, clinical psychologist, expert in the emotional, social, and cognitive development of children with autism, certified DIRFloortime expert and trainer with 14 years of experience, and founder of Mindful Relationship Coaching.
Every trip to the store turns into a request for a new toy, and your child constantly asks for new gifts. This situation is familiar to many parents. It is important to understand that there may be several reasons behind the constant desire to receive gifts.
First, the desire to get another gift is often a signal of a need for emotions and new experiences. The child may be looking for a way to fill a lack of attention or find joy in something new and interesting. Second, in striving to be good parents, we are not always ready to limit the child’s wishes. Restrictions are often associated with the child’s disappointment and sometimes with tantrums, and many parents find it easier to give in to avoid conflict. Third, this may be a signal that the child does not feel loved and valued. Thus, requests for gifts can be an attempt to attract attention and confirm their significance.
To address this problem, it is worth approaching the solution from two sides:
Set Rules for Gifts
Children are always comforted by rules when they are consistently present in life and followed by parents. First of all, divide purchases into two categories: gifts for holidays and planned purchases.
Holiday Gifts: Gifts should be associated with special occasions such as birthdays, New Year, or other family holidays. This will create an expectation and understanding in the child that gifts are something special and not an everyday occurrence.
Planned Purchases: Other instances of buying toys or gadgets can be seen as the beginning of financial planning education. Set a budget for purchases that you can determine for a month or a week. Explain to the child that within this budget, they can choose what they really want, but purchases outside this budget will not be made.
Teach Your Child to Understand Their Desires
Discuss your child’s wishes and needs. Ask questions like, “Why do you want this toy? How will you play with it? Why is it important to you?” These questions will help the child learn to make thoughtful decisions and take care of what they already have. This is also a way to develop critical thinking and self-control.
Pay Attention to Quality Time Spent with Your Child
Sometimes, children simply need more attention from their parents. Instead of buying a new toy, try spending time together.
Joint Games: Games help strengthen the bond between parents and children. They can be either board games or active games, depending on the child’s interests.
Reading: Reading together is not only entertainment but also a way to develop the child’s imagination and vocabulary. Additionally, it is a time when the child feels that the parents are fully engaged in communicating with them.
Walks and Outdoor Activities: Spend the day in the park or have a picnic. Physical activity and fresh air are always beneficial.
Creativity: Arrange an hour of creativity, draw, sculpt with clay, or create crafts. This not only develops the child’s fine motor skills and creativity but also strengthens your bond.
It is important that during this time you do not get distracted by calls or household chores but fully devote yourself to communicating with the child. Regular attention and time spent together create a sense of security and significance in the child.
Introducing Limits and Balancing Discipline and Love
When introducing limits, always add elements of play and communication. This helps the child understand that limits are not about depriving love or attention but are part of upbringing. An example of this approach is the rule: “If we don’t buy a toy today, then in the evening, we will have a special time for joint play.”
Conclusion
Every parent wants their child to be happy and feel loved. Constant requests for gifts may be a signal of other needs of the child. It is important to set rules and explain them, teach children to understand their desires and dedicate time to quality communication. This will help the child feel confident and significant, as well as learn to value not only material things but also moments spent with loved ones. A balanced approach to upbringing, based on discipline and love, will help create harmonious and healthy relationships in the family.
Published by: Martin De Juan
